Saturday, December 12, 2009

Modern Warfare 2 Tries to Talk Me Out Of It

By Kirk Hamilton

It's evening in my room
Over in the corner, by a stack of envelopes
sits a copy of modern warfare 2,
spun for five hours and then ejected
perhaps never to be loaded again.

It's not inherently difficult to sell a game on, but something about doing it so quickly, when so much of a game remains unexplored feels... hasty. And so the little green box calls out to me, listing reasons why I should keep it around.

But our multiplayer is so deep and expansive!

Yeah, but I suuuuck at it. Also, I can't stand this feeling that permeates so much of the competitive multiplayer on Xbox live, a feeling of... Constant Defeat via Anonymous Proficiency.

Okay, so competitive's not your thing. Maybe you'll get into the Co-Op!

Yeah, but I just got Left 4 Dead 2. Is your co-op more fun than Left 4 Dead 2?

Our co-op has an airplane!

Left 4 Dead 2 has a NASCAR. And chainsaws.

Yeah, well. Ours has...

And a Garden Gnome. And a sense of humor about itself.

Cut it out. What about our "controversial level?" Don't you want to play it again so you can write a long, well-thought-out piece about it?

No. Honestly, the less said about that bullshit the better.

Then I guess there's no convincing you. Fine, see if I care.

Sigh. Off to with you, little one.

Like a Kiss reunion concert - all the same moves as before, done ten times as often with one tenth the impact.

Oh, well.


Dan the Man said...

Wow, is this real?

If I wasn't so sure I was probably getting it for Xmas, I'd tell you to just give me a fair deal.

Can I tell you how much I love "a NASCAR"? Are you the first person to do that, or have I missed the boat?

In L4D, if you miss the boat, you're eaten by zombies.